just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
