No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
