Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
