Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He kissed a someone with a penis
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
