It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize