i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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