She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
