And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize