Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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