wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
This is my gift to your gina
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Randomize
