Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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