Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
