I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Randomize
