I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
