You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
