Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
