a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
