I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
