whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
