Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
