I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
