I puked a lego.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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