arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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