things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
