Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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