I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
