O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
