it was like his penis was on wheels.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
