get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
