She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
