If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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