school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
