how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
