I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
