Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
