she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
