I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
