You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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