We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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