I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
