I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
