I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
