Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
