So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
