just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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