When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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