She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
