I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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