So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
