i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize