That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
