they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
this will be a night to untag.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
