i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
