So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize