Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
