Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
