she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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