all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
